The Stargazer King

 

 

short story by Henning Kohler 

adaptation for the theater by Ruth Salles from the translation by Karin Stach
Making off da representação feita em 2022 pelo 8° ano da Escola Waldorf Turmalina, de Curitiba PR, alunos da professora Jussara de Souza.

 

CHARACTERS

King
Queen
Two Throne Guards
minister 1
minister 2
chief advisor
court lady 1
court lady 2
royal chief doctor
real master inventor
messenger 1
messenger 2
messenger 3
adebet
Bedebeto
Old
Cedebeto
Cedebeto 2nd (representing the Past)
tutu
Tutu 2nd (representing the Past)
Koshka
Joan, your daughter
Yoshka
Your wife (may also be the Old One in another outfit)
Your daughter Miriam
Ioshka's clients (may be court members in other outfits)
Bandit boss (may also be one of the throne guards)
Bandits (can be the 3 messengers, plus Adebeto and Bedebeto)
Moonlight
lady of the stars
Koshka's servant
Master Confusion (may be the other throne guard)
Queen's Guardian Angel (may be the star lady in white costume)
Young man from the tale (can be Tutu 2nd)
Boy from the tale (can be Cedebeto 2nd)

 

NOTE:
The notes in parentheses are suggestions in case the number of students in the class is less than the number of characters in the play.

 

FIRST ACT

Scene 1

Royal Palace Room. The king walks from one side to the other. The queen is seated on the throne. There is a guard on either side of the throne.

 

KING: - If I knew what it is to be a king, I would have chosen another profession.

QUEEN: But, my love, being a king is the most important thing in the world!

KING: – Important? But how, if I don't do anything worthwhile? Think carefully! The bricklayer builds houses, the baker makes bread, the potter shapes jars, the farmer reaps what he has sown. They all take pride in the work of their hands. But I can't even be proud of my crown, for it was made by the goldsmith. And my purple robe? Didn't the tailor make it? (The king drops down on the throne with a dismayed sigh)

QUEEN: - Instead of complaining so much, you should follow the orders of the head doctor. Who knows how God sends us a son!

KING: — Oh! So do you think that every day eating 20 raw eagle eggs, doing 50 push-ups and taking a bath in sour milk for 3 hours is going to make us have kids? This is quackery. Besides, can a king like me be a good father?

QUEEN (crying and stamping her feet on the floor): - Oh, oh... I wanted to marry a king and I married a boy who doesn't want to grow up...

KING: – Easy, easy… A boy… Yeah, you're right. When I was a prince, I would go to the kitchen and change the chef's salt for sugar, put ants in my teacher's wig...

QUEEN: But now you are king. You must behave with dignity.

KING: – Dignity… Only if I were a famous navigator, a genius inventor. In fact, I really wanted to invent an aircraft…

QUEEN: A what?

KING: A ship that could fly, you see? I live thinking about it...

QUEEN (shaking her head) – Yes… not even on the beautiful ship I ordered made, all of gold with swan feather sails, did you find it funny… Not even in the crystal castle, not in the magicians, musicians, dancers…

KING: I don't want any of that. I want to give people something they need that makes them happy. I'll send messengers across the realm looking for someone who knows what to do about it. And that someone will be richly rewarded. (exclaims to the guards): – Call the royal messengers! (The guards leave.)

 

 

scene 2

The king and queen on the thrones. Two guards, two ministers, the chief adviser and two ladies of the court. Messenger 1 and Adebeto arrive; then messenger 2, Bedebet and the old woman; then messenger 3, with Cedebeto.

 

MESSENGER 1 (entering with Adebetus; both bow): – O king, I have brought you here this man called Adebetus, who claims to know what Your Majesty must do for the people!

KING: Yes, messenger! (to the other): – You can speak, Mr. Adebeto!

ADEBETO (with an air of great importance, which makes the queen grimace): – Lord King! I know for sure, for my very Wise wisdom, that there are people everywhere who want someone to do somersaults on the roof of a galloping horse-drawn carriage without falling!

KING (to the guards): – Arrest this man for three days on bread and water! He lies de-sa-ver-go-nha-da-men-te!!! (The queen hides a laugh with her hand over her mouth. The guards take Adebeto, who looks indignant and offended.)

CHIEF COUNSELOR: – But, Your Majesty does not want to think about the possibility…

KING (angry, getting up and putting his hands on his hips): – What a chance, what a no, sir chief adviser!

CHIEF COUNSELOR: – But, wouldn't it be the case to consider…?

KING (angrier, gesturing): – Nothing to consider! Such nonsense!

(The king sits down again. The counselor cringes, all flustered. The ladies exchange giggles and whispers.)

MESSENGER 2 (entering with Bedebet; both bow): – O king, I have brought you here this man called Bedebeto, who claims to know what Your Majesty must do for the people!

KING: Yes, messenger! (to the other): – You can speak, Mr. Bedebeto!

BEDEBETO (with a smooth and flattering air; which provokes another grimace from the queen): – O King of the most majestic Greatness and Majesty! The whole world waits for Your Presence to prepare a remedy, to make the hair grow like grass in spring.

KING (trying to show patience): – And how is that done, lord Bedebeto?

BEDEBETO (pointing to a little old lady at the entrance to the throne room): – That little old lady over there transmitted this magic formula to me… (in the king’s ear) Potato salad mixed with dry earthworm dust, buried during the full moon on the doorstep and dug up at the next full moon. (The queen puts her hands on her head and makes a sign with a finger on her forehead, indicating Bedebeto's madness.)

KING (he calls out to the old woman, who is trembling with fear): – Come in, come in, lady. Tell me: How much did Bedebeto promise you to lie to me?

OLD WOMAN: – N-nothing, no-no, Majes-majest-tade!

KING: Well, don't be afraid. I know you are poor, and in poverty any coin is precious. Tell me how much he promised, and I'll give you double.

OLD WOMAN (sobbing): – Fifty pieces of silver… I have grandchildren who are cold and hungry…

QUEEN (crossing her hands on her chest, in horror): – Oh, poor things!…

(Bedebeto throws himself on the ground, on his knees, while the king addresses the messengers)

KING: – Give her a hundred pieces of silver. And take the gold with which the beautiful swan feather ship was built, then dismantle the crystal castle. May all this useless wealth be exchanged for food and warm clothes for the children who are cold and hungry in my kingdom. And I still want them to give each of them a bag of toys!

MINISTER 1: – But it is a waste, Your Majesty!
MINISTER 2: – It is about filling the public coffers, not emptying them, Your Majesty!

KING: Well, gentlemen, ministers! Fill as if they are already overflowing?! It is about distributing, yes, distributing!

(The horrified ministers mutter to each other in low voices. The ladies fan each other with fans and whisper. Bedebeto rises, satisfied and deft, thinking nothing will happen to him, but the king points to him.)

KING: - As for this liar, I want the potato recipe with dry worms to be prepared at the door of his house, buried in the full moon and dug up in the other. And then spread throughout the kingdom that Bedebeto will make bald and half-bald hair grow, just as grass grows in spring! We will see, then, what he will receive in payment!

(Bedebeto runs off in desperation after the messengers and the old woman. The queen shakes her head, smiling. The king puts his hand to his forehead, despondent.)

MESSENGER 3 (entering with Cedebeto; both bow): – O king, I have brought you here this man called Cedebeto, who claims to know what Your Majesty must do for the people!

KING: Yes, messenger! (to the other): – You can speak, Mr. Cedebeto!

CEDEBETO (who doesn't pretend to be important, doesn't even flatter the king; he just bows and takes off his hat): – Your Majesty…

KING (curious): – Yes?

CEDEBETO: Would your Majesty like to be a stargazer?

KING (amazed): – How?!

CEDEBETO (pointing at the sky with fingers in various directions): – Gather stars from the sky.

(The queen and everyone present look at the king, curious to see his reaction and to know how Cedebeto will be punished.)

REI (first scratches his head): – Aha… Hmm… (then he smiles at Cedebeto and says, raising his finger to the sky): – Stargazer… You please me. You have courage. And he made a suggestion fit for a king.

QUEEN (concerned): — But, my dear…

(The king glares at the queen, who falls silent.)

KING: My dear Cedebeto, you must know how to pick stars in the sky as well as I do, don't you?

CEDEBETO: – Unfortunately, Your Majesty. But I thought to myself, “If you don't know, Cedebeto, that doesn't mean the king can't find out.”

QUEEN: – My dear…

(The king looks at her again, and she is silent)

KING: – You are right, Cedebeto… But who needs stars? I want to do something that makes people happy, you know. And who would I get stars for?

CEDEBETO (bowing to the queen): — First, to the woman whose beauty shines above all others. For his wife, the queen. I'm sure she urgently needs a star.

QUEEN: Oh, yes! There's nothing I want more!

KING (smiling at her): Then, my dear, you will win the first and the brightest.

QUEEN (ecstatic): – Aaahhh!!…

KING: And who else needs stars, Cedebeto?

CEDEBETO: – All the beautiful women of the kingdom…

KING: - Only the beautiful ones?

CEDEBETO: – No! Also the ugly ones, the young ones, the old ones, the nice ones, the grumpy ones, especially the grumpy ones. By having their stars, the ugly ones will feel beautiful, the old ones will feel young, and so on.

KING: And how do you know that?

CEDEBETO: – Simply knowing.

KING: And who else needs stars?

CEDEBETO: – The children. Children are crazy about stars, Your Majesty. And men too. But they don't have the courage to confess.

KING (exclaims enthusiastically): – With a thousand thunders! So who no need them?

CEDEBETO: – Nobody no need them, Your Majesty. Everyone, everyone needs it.

KING (rises and speaks ceremoniously): – My lords ministers, my chief adviser, ladies ladies, your king has decided at this moment that he will learn the trade of stargazer.

(All, fawning over the king, applaud, shouting “Bravo! Bravo!”)

KING: Why do you applaud? Why do they shout “Bravo!”? Do you think I don't know what they think of me? (Calls Cedebeto and tells him privately): – But we will show them, won't we, my friend? By the way… do you have any idea how to get started?

CEDEBETO (in particular, kneeling before the king): – We'd better start walking as soon as it gets dark, when the stars are already in the sky. We follow the tip of our nose and, God the Father willing, will help us.

KING (loudly): – Following the tip of the nose, this is fantastic! Cedebeto, from now on, you will be my chief advisor.

(The chief advisor doesn't know where to turn, desperate. Cedebeto whispers in the king's ear.)

KING: - All right. The chief advisor remains the same, and you will be the royal star hearer, a very worthy position.

(The counselor calms down and goes to bow before the king. The king gestures for him to return to his place and not annoy him)

REI: – But… Cedebeto, why do you want to go with me? Why don't you go enjoy your reward in peace?

CEDEBETO: – Because my most beautiful reward will be to see Your Majesty catching the first stars in the sky. (In this he takes out of his robe a silver thing, which looks as much like a flute as a small telescope.) This, ladies and gentlemen, is an acoustic starscope. You must know that each star has its own melody. With this instrument, we can choose the right star for each person who needs it. Furthermore, during the day we can simply play the flute, and at night, stellar melodies.

QUEEN (to the ladies, all delighted): – He looks so much like the king when he was younger… (to Cedebeto): – But where did you get that flau… that teles… starscope?

CEDEBETO: – It was the Lady of the Stars who gave it to me. But that's a story for another time, Your Majesty.

LADY 1: – Please… Mr. Cedebeto…
LADY 2: - Play for us a little bit on your acoustic starscope.

(Cedebeto starts playing a sad tune, and everyone starts crying and sobbing. Then he plays a happy tune, and everyone starts laughing until they're tired. He stops, and a bell rings.)

LADY 1: - It's the touch of the royal tea cook.
LADY 2 (greedy): – Hmm… It’s mint tea day with real dumplings…

(Everyone leaves for the royal tea room.)

 

SECOND ACT

Scene 1

Cedebeto and the king in the forest, bundled up in a coat, boots and wool cap. The king leans on a staff, Cedebeto lightly touches his acoustic starscope. The two are looking at the sky. Later Tutu appears.

 

REI (concerned, making Cedebeto stop playing): – Cedebeto! I think we're going to do something forbidden...

CEDEBETO: What is forbidden, Your Majesty?!

KING: - Catching stars. Gradually we will empty the sky.

CEDEBETO: – It's not like that with the stars. If in spring Your Majesty picks flowers in the field, in next spring they bloom again, don't they?

KING: But stars are not flowers, Cedebeto.

CEDEBETO: – Exactly. The stars are in the sky. And a whole year on earth is the twinkling of an eye in heaven, so that the stars plucked from the sky shine again at the same instant.

REI (looks at the sky, counts on his fingers and talks to himself): – Yeah… That makes sense. It's no wonder he's the real star listener. (addressing Cedebeto): – But how are we going to get up there, huh? Not even birds can… Not even the highest mountain peaks pierce the sky.

CEDEBETO (starts to walk and pulls the king): – We will see, we will see. For now, let's follow the tip of the nose itself.

KING (in a bad mood): - In this darkness, let's hit a tree branch with our nose. Hey! What is that shining there?

CEDEBETO (animated): – A lake, Your Majesty! With a little boat tied to a wooden stump! We can row across the lake. We will!

KING (still in a bad mood): – Yes, only if the boat has oars… (they pull the boat close) Yeah, there's two and something else rolled up on the bottom. Lightning and thunder! Is a child!

CEDEBETO: – He’s sleeping…

(The boy wakes up and sits down. He's wearing lace-up sandals, a thin shirt, and patched pants, but he doesn't seem to be cold.)

KING: – Who are you? And why are you alone in the forest dressed like that in this cold? Didn't I order the ministers and the counselor that I don't want a child getting cold in my kingdom?!

BOY: I'm Tutu, and I'm never cold, my lord.

CEDEBETO (bends down, takes him by the shoulders, laughing): – Tutu? Don't you recognize me, Tutu? Flickering rays and dancing jelly!

TUTU: – Wicked rays… Dancing jelly… Who said that?

CEDEBETO (jumping and turning): – Dragon's tooth and boar's spit!

TUTU (trying to remember): - Dragon's tooth...

CEDEBETO (stretching his arms loudly): – Rat filth and frog soup!

KING (angrily): — But, lord royal star hearer, don't talk like that!

TUTU: – Star listener? Oh, I know! (starts jumping and singing, or talking)
“C-de-be-to, C-de-be-to!
The stars are close.
Let's circle the moon!
The path is always straight!”

CEDEBETO (sings or talks too, while the king listens, astonished):
“Tututu, my Tututu,
the gate is locked.
The moonlight hides the key,
And Moonlight is so angry!”

TUTU (sings or talks):
“Cedebeto, Cedebeto,
the stars are close.
In the moonlight there is a way.
Come on and be smart!”

KING (annoyed at being left out): May I know what that means? After all I am the king!

TUTU: – The king? Oh sorry, lord king. It's just that Cedebeto and I haven't seen each other for a long time and we're such friends...

KING (calmer): – All right. He is well. But where do you come from, boy?

TUTU: – From the country of the stars. Here on Earth people call it the land of dreams or fairy tales. The entrance is just behind the moon. But Mister Moonlight is very strict and rarely opens the door for us to go out.

CEDEBETO: – Severus is not enough. He is very brave and is always angry.

KING (somewhat embarrassed): Well, sometimes you have to be severe.

TUTU: But when he lets me out, then it's fun. From there to here it's just a slide.

KING: – Slippery?

TUTU: – Yeah. Mister Moonlight sends an extra-strong silver ray down, and I come: zuuum… Going up is more difficult. But if I take the boat, it's easier.

KING (amazed): – The boat?

TUTU: – Just go paddling in the moonbeam, as long as Mr. Moonlight makes the silver light flow upwards.

KING: – You are tying my ideas up. I never knew of such a thing.

CEDEBETO: Well, now you know, Your Majesty. But come on, at midnight the moonlight opens the door.

TUTU: And Mom is worried if I don't come back. Get in the boat.

(Cedebeto and the king enter. Tutu and Cedebeto continue cursing)

CEDEBETO: – Dragon's tooth and boar's spit!

TUTU: – Sink of pigs and rotten potatoes!

KING (angry): – Stop it now, thunder and lightning! These expressions are not worthy of a real star listener or a boy from star country!

CEDEBETO and TUTU (they say to each other, putting their index finger in front of their mouth): – Chiiiu… (they paddle and speak in rhythm)
“Pawing, rowing, in the moonlight,
that rises, that rises, and will take us.”

KING: – Wait! First I want to know how you two met.

CEDEBETO: – Oh… But it’s a long story… and not very pretty… I mean… You know how it is… When you’re very young…

REI: – Stop talking, Cedebeto, and tell us how it went. (The boat is being rowed to a corner of the stage.)

CEDEBETO: – I was a vagabond who walked around, working a little for a few coins and playing tricks from time to time. I could sing and play the flute, but I felt very unhappy.

KING (growing melancholy): — I know what it is. I too, despite being a king, found life very dull.

CEDEBETO: – Well… Everyone called me a fool. One day I stayed at the house of a very wealthy merchant named Koshka, for whom I worked, in addition to dating his daughter… I had the life of a prince. But I didn't realize that Koshka had evil intentions, and I ended up being really bad, really bad, at his request. And after that, I discovered that I didn't know how to play my flute anymore… The music escaped me. From me, who made anyone laugh or cry, sleep or dance, with my flute… I felt so important and suddenly I saw that I was worthless…

KING: Feeling important… Yeah… sometimes it doesn't work.

CEDEBETO: – But what happened was this:…

(They start talking quietly and freeze. It darkens the center stage and disappears into the forest.)

 

 

scene 2

The house on the right is that of the merchant Koshka and his daughter Joana; on the left is that of the merchant Ioshka, Koshka's brother. Later, Ioshka, his wife, daughter and customers appear. Cedebeto 2º is at the door of Koshka's house, very well dressed, playing a beautiful melody on the flute for Joana.

KOSHKA (bellied, cocky, insensitive and bossy): – Stop that noise there, Cedebeto, I need to talk to you.

CEDEBETO 2º (running to Koshka, while Joana runs into the house): – No, Mr. Koshka, at your orders. What is it about?

KOSHKA: – I heard that you are in love with my daughter. It is true?

CEDEBETO 2º: – Yes, yes. And I wanted to ask permission to marry her. Joana and I love each other very much.

KOSHKA: – I know… I know… But in order for me to have enough for myself and the two of you, I need to be the richest merchant in this place. And I'm not. Therein lies the problem!

2nd CEDEBETO: – But you are very rich!

KOSHKA: – I am, nothing. In that house over there (points), as you know, lives my brother Ioshka, who sells rugs and fabrics like me. We used to work together, but I didn't want to have any partnership with him anymore. It's too honest. It does not work. Even so, he's getting rich and outsmarting me.

CEDEBETO 2nd: – You are wrong. He lives so modestly...

KOSHKA: Ah, you don't know how to enjoy life, that's all. But what I wanted was to end his business and be rich on my own. In the end, I I got here first. My wealth would be double if it wasn't for him. Double, think about it. I want you to help me destroy it. So his customers become mine! And I bless your marriage to my daughter and I still support you both.

CEDEBETO 2nd (offended): – Sustain? But I work for you sir!

KOSHKA (contemptuously): – Huh?… Why! A silly job. But, look, if you help me, things change. What does my future son-in-law think of getting a carriage and a nice house?

CEDEBETO 2nd (amazed): – Future son-in-law?… Carriage?… House?…

KOSHKA (impatient): – Yeah, yeah, yeah! My brother, let him go and do his business wherever he wants. As long as it's far away from here, so it doesn't get in the way of my life.

CEDEBETO 2º (still in doubt): – I need to think…

KOSHKA: Well, you fool, what to think about? You just go around singing. You always attract people when you play or sing. Well, sing ill of Ioshka, make fun of him and all. I doubt he won't close the shop after that. And go soon! It's a treated service. Obey!

CEDEBETO 2º (head bowed): – All right, sir. (to himself): – For Joana I do something like that, but I don’t feel at all good about this task, nothing, nothing at all…

(Koshka enters the house. Ioshka's customers appear and begin to examine their wares, which are on display outside the house. Cedebeto 2nd begins to sing and play for Ioshka's customers.)

CEDEBETO 2nd (sings):
“This Ioshka is a great trickster,
fools everyone just for the sake of money. (repeats melody on flute)
Your carpets are rotten and threadbare,
and their fabrics are already torn at the edge. (repeats melody on flute)
He has absolutely no honesty.
He should get out of town. (repeats melody on flute)
Who does not want to be deceived by him
must do his shopping on the other side (points to Koshka's house and plays the flute)

(Customers leave, laughing. Ioshka leaves the house with his wife and daughter. The three hug each other with their heads down and then go back in. Cedebeto 2nd leaves on tiptoe, embarrassed, and goes back to Koshka's door. He reappears, disguising his delight at seeing his daughter, who runs angrily to speak with Cedebeto 2nd.)

JOANA: – That was an infamy, Cedebeto. You ruined my uncle's life.

CEDEBETO 2nd: – But it was an order I received from your father.

JOANA: – I don't believe it. It was mean of you, and I don't want to hear from you anymore. (She turns her back on him and enters the house)

KOSHKA (laughing): – You are really silly, Cedebeto. So you thought I was going to give my daughter in marriage to a worthless man, a street flautist, a bum singer? I don't need you anymore. And get out of town now, you're fired!

(Cedebeto 2º comes out playing his flute, and the music sounds all out of tune. The people reappear and boo the flutist, who runs away.)

 

scene 3

Darkens the scene. The light is only on the three of them: Cedebeto and the king talk. Tutu looks worriedly at the moon.

 

KING: – Joan was right to dump him. What you did was infamy.

CEDEBETO (always rowing, along with Tutu): – But it was only once, Your Majesty. (with finger up) Just one.

KING (stern): – Once is enough. It even made you lose your gift for music. For whoever misuses a gift given by God, loses that gift.

CEDEBETO: Yes, yes. The lord king is severe, but he is wise.

KING (feeling important): Well, you've had your punishment, and this fellow Koshka will still have his. But what does that have to do with Tutu?

CEDEBETO: – I'll get there. Poor and starving I went to live in a cave in the Darkness forest, where only wild beasts live.

KING (startled): – But then in the forest Darkness? It's very dangerous. They say that whoever gets lost there never finds a way out.

CEDEBETO: Well, that's right. And they also say that bandits live there and, from time to time, witches pass by!

KING (scandalized): – Ooooohhhh! Bandits in the forests of my kingdom! And my ministers, what are you doing that you don't know anything? Or else they hide from me what happens!

CEDEBETO: – But… Your Majesty, you no longer wanted to conduct. I wanted to be a stargazer...

KING: That's true there. But anyway…

TUTU (excitedly): – Does the king want to be a stargazer?!!

CEDEBETO: – Wait a minute, Tutu. Let me finish telling the story. For one day, Your Majesty, a crow appeared near the cave, calling me with its strange cry, and I went after him. And do you know where he took me?

KING: — I'm imagining it: to the bandits' den.

CEDEBETO: – Right there. It landed on the roof of their cabin and disappeared. It disappeared! It didn't fly, no. It was a witch crow!

KING: – Lightning and thunder!

CEDEBETO: – Outside, I could hear the laughter and screams of the bandits, and also a child's cry.

TUTU (stopping his gaze at the moon): – It was me!

KING (angry): – Tutu! It's not worth telling beforehand! So it loses its fun. Stay quiet.

CEDEBETO: – So I hid behind a tree and waited. Horse dung and foot feet, as I expected!

TUTU: – Hi hi hi, horse dung and foot…

KING (angry): – Stop it!

CEDEBETO: – I stayed there all night thinking about what I could do. Ouch, …

(The voices turn to a murmur, the three freeze, and the center of the scene brightens.)

 

(to be continued)

 

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